The Man Who Was Death

hell to pay, this is my farewell to this city

2005-08-06T01:58:09Z

Dear Dedham,

Smoke ya later.

Love,
Tyler

I've spent some time reflecting on my life in Dedham up to this point and I can say that it really hasn't been bad. I think everybody in a small town blames the town for their boredom, for the problems in their life, and such, but really it's not the town, it's the people. I look back at all the good times I've had and I appreciate what I've been fortunate enough to have and the people I've been fortunate enough to know. When I look back at all the rough times, I see that a large majority of them were really nobody's fault but my own. I certainly can't blame the town itself. As many times as I've complained in the past about this town, the schools here, and the people here, I can see now that I've been lucky in life. I'm not going to look back at my time here and think of it negatively. I've learned from the bad times so all I really need to remember are the good times.
I would love to say that I left this town different than I found it. I'd love to say that I conquered it, that this is merely the first stop in my own Sherman's march and that I've left nothing but rubble in my wake. The reality is I've spent the majority of my time this summer hiding out like a criminal. I won't be marching out of town, banners waving. I will be slinking out, escaping, granted, but not with the glory I would've wished for when I was younger. That's fine. I did my time and now it's time to ride off into the sunset.
Roll Deep.

dillingeresque @ 2005-07-21T23:41:00

2005-07-22T03:46:17Z

Got my housing assignment. I'm in Cruger (a homonym for Krueger, as in Freddy) room 216 (the cube of six, as in 6x6x6). My roommates have funny names, Tristan and Asher. I'm counting the days.

dillingeresque @ 2005-06-29T18:51:00

2005-06-29T22:59:33Z

8½ was totally worth watching and rather appropriate.

dillingeresque @ 2005-06-29T00:01:00

2005-06-29T04:13:00Z

Ennui punctuated by sporadic drug use. Youth, how I squander thee. Actually, I've been keeping up with what I used to do when I was younger: play video games and watch TV. I can't even get motivated enough to watch movies anymore. 8½ has been sitting on my coffee table for weeks now. I love surrealist films. I love black and white films. I still can't bring myself to watch it. I can't bring myself to do anything. I don't really get hungry anymore. I eat on compulsion, maybe two times a day. I don't get tired, either, but I still sleep in really late. I don't much care for Summer. The days are too hot and the nights don't start soon enough.

Progress Numero Duece

2005-06-26T04:33:18Z

I beat the Silver Surfer game for NES. Game was tight.

Then I went and got crunk.

dillingeresque @ 2005-06-25T00:40:00

2005-06-25T04:46:15Z

Land of the Dead. My Episode III. It wasn't better than Night, it wasn't better than Dawn, BUT it was about par with Day. About. Not as much gore as I would've wanted, but it was cheesy and "fun." I hate when people describe a movie as being fun and I don't want to sell Romero's message in the movie short (although he establishes all these metaphors and then just says "fuck it, let's blow shit up." about halfway through) because I dug it. The acting was better than in maybe any of the Dead films. Dennis Hopper gave a subtle performance. When did I ever expect to say that? Never. Of course, I never expected to see a (non-zombie) midget get shot in a Romero movie, either. In the end, Land wasn't the masterpiece it could've been. Romero didn't exactly school all the new school horror directors with this one. Like Day, it was a terrible movie, but I'm a geek so I liked it and I'll probably buy the dvd.

Progress

2005-06-23T20:01:16Z

I haven't written in a long time.

I haven't touched my guitar or music-making software in awhile.

I haven't been out carousing much.

I have, however, beaten Bubble Bobble 2.

dillingeresque @ 2005-06-22T13:34:00

2005-06-22T17:41:41Z

Oscar, my dog who's been in my family longer than my sister, was put down today. It was really his time to go. He's been real sick for awhile now. It's just sad to see Maggie, who was kind of raised by Oscar, because she's really upset.On top of that, I woke up several times last night feeling like I was being choked. My throat is killing me. Probably going to the doctor later. I'm being shit on, that's all, shit on.

Japanese "Girlfriend Knee Pillow"

2005-06-18T18:35:28Z

Amazing. And I thought the hug pillows were odd.

dillingeresque @ 2005-06-17T21:38:00

2005-06-18T01:41:12Z

Grindcore is so good.

Death From Above 1979 and Big Business make guitars look gay.

David Lynch is overrated and only marginally talented.

I simply am not there.

My sweet,
I wish you the best,
And that you'll sleep,
I'm dragging you down into my dreams,
Lay your head down
Try and rest.

(Fear Before is a catchy band)

A Foreplay with the Streets

2005-06-16T02:26:48Z

Batman Begins met my expectations. Everyone I saw it with complained of the running time but I think Nolan (or Goyer, rather) tried to put too much into it. Admittedly, I had higher expectations than I should've and I'm more of a fan of the Scarecrow than most, so I wasn't as blown away as I should've been. I think aside from the really choppy, Michael Bay style editing and the occasional point where I could see the script's bones sticking through, it was a good flick. Bale, of course, was pretty great, as was the rest of the cast. Cillian Murphy chewed the scenery to near perfection. I really dug the horror aspects (notice that the other great superhero flicks, namely Spiderman 1 & 2 used them as well) of the film: Scarecrow's hallucinations with the maggot-filled mask, the flashes of bats, and the Batman himself stalking and attacking thugs. I just can't help but feel that more could've been done, but that's just the wanna-be director in me talking. Thanks to Nolan, I may actually get a shot to make a Batman movie some day. All in all, it was far better than the average summer popcorn fare. I'll have to watch it again to see how I'd rank it in my favorite superhero movies (Spiderman 2 is pretty hard to top, in my book). It was a nice and much needed bit of escapism, which is all you can really ask from a film of its type.

Aside from that, well, not much has been going on. I'm getting to watch a lot of movies.

dillingeresque @ 2005-06-09T20:39:00

2005-06-10T00:42:57Z

got up early/went to work for nothing this morning. sucked.

watched Welcome to the Dollhouse. depressing. the little dance the girl does when the band plays the titular theme was pretty sweet.

found my copy of The Opposite of December. rocked out.

watched Lost Skeleton of Cadavara. hilarious. didn't pay much to the latter half due to a very important phonecall and my cable crapping out.

rocked out some more. found out cable was back on. that's my day.

Love, Death, & Ohio

2005-06-06T02:16:49Z

So, I'm here in my grandparents' house in Ohio, in a Laz-e-boy, watching American Splendor. It's beautiful. In the oppressive heat that's building, in this lumpy chair miles away from home, I am really digging this flick. I mean, I dug it when I first saw it but seeing Toby say "No, you can't have any of my WhiteCastle burgers, Harvey.: takes on a tone of relevance when you're within a quick drive of Toledo (where Revenge of the Nerds is playing in Splendor). I hate looking out the window here. My grandparents live in the suburbs. Fuckin' Ohio, man. When you name your neighborhodds like they're independent townships or something, you know you ain't got much going on. I think my dad was talking earlier about Ohio having a great "scene."

I don't dig the suburbs. Ohio seems pretty Americana. Harvey just ragged on the Nerds of the afforementioned film in Toledo, and he mentioned the suburbs. He knows what's up. I guess you could say Dedham is a suburb. Whatever, it's a short train ride to the city. Shana was heading to the city today. And I'm stuck in Shit-suck, Ohio. With my crazy uncle. He just walks around randomly commenting on things. He just came in to talk about the fans and cooling system (or lack thereof) in this house. It's cool, I guess. Can't be too harsh on the guy. His mom's memorial was today.

And what a memorial it was. The memorial home was literally five minutes away (an enjoyable drive with my Great Uncle Larry, a very funny guy). The memorial itself was maybe twenty minutes. It was tiny, man. A bunch of chairs, a podium with three bouquets, and a table with a collection of photos my mom had taped to a poster board covered in wrapping paper the night before. That's it, man. My mom had got some UU softie minister to come and do the service. He did the whole two sets of footprints in the sand schpiel. Fairly standard stuff. I was singled out, congratulated for graduating in my grandmother's eulogy. Yeah, I'm serious. I was taring a hole in the carpet, as it were, and then they pull that on me. I'm not a big fan of mortality either, so I was a little uncomfortable. I'm in as big a rush as anybody to get dead, but it's never fun being in contact with someone else's kick-off in any way. Spooky, but not in a good way.

My extended family is a bunch of spooks, too. A bunch of people I know as signatures on Halmark cards. A bunch of checks for graduation. I couldn't name half of them. You got my Grampa. He's cool, real mellow. Tan like a leather sofa, smoking expensive cigars constantly. He's taking the loss of his wife pretty well. You got crazy Uncle Mike, a complete failure according to my mom. He's the poster child for Middle America. Nascar hat, beer gut, ugly jeans, stupid stories. I almost feel sorry for the guy. Great Uncle Larry was this funny dude who I missed get drunk. Great Uncle Bob is like Grampa part two. Some second cousin named Aiden is this little toddler, wide-eyed and with long, girlish blonde hair. Cute kid. The most normal looking person was my cousin Katy who appeared regular enough until you notice her Obi-Wan rat tail. The rest of them, family and my Grampa's sympathetic co-workers, look straight out of the 50s. Or 60s, you know, that plain, old-fashioned look that was originated in the 50s and lives on in sepia-tinted photos and washed out polaroids. And Ohio. Ghosts, man. Fuckin' spooks.

In the middle of it all you got my immediate family. My mom's hanging in there. Her and Grandma didn't have the greatest relationship. My dad's an affable, if not loud-mouthed, Southerner, so he manages. My sister has her strange hair and dress to operate as a barrier to casual interrogation. Me, I'm the new grad, approachable but sullen. God, this old bird, a co-worker's wife (not even family) sits down nect to me as I'm tearing into a sandwich back at my grandparents' house for a reception-type thing. She's making small talk, which I fucking hate, and asking about college. Fuck small talk. You're not going to connect with anyone through that bullshit. I'm starting to think I might not be bad at interpersonal relations, I might just be disinterested in wasting my time with people who just want to shoot the shit. I'm getting sidetracked here. Back to the bird. Alright, so she asks me my major (I can't to hear that question every five minutes for the next four years) and I tell her "Film and English." She looks at me like I said I wanted to major in Communism and Goat-fucking. I had forgotten that I was in a part of the country where everyone works in car factories. Film and English? What? Apparently she didn't see me as the "creative type" (read: the jobless, the ambitionless, the queer, the hippy, etc.).

Graduation night was definitely positive. I was worried nothing good was going down. Sat at home for hours, hooking up my mini ipod and feeling low. I even made alternative plans to smoke with AJ and Dan, and go to the all-night "party" at the high school. Thank God that didn't go down. Chilling with Shana, a little vodka, a few twizzlers, and some good flicks. Great night. I ended up walking home at 2am, thinking I would be getting up at 4 to leave for Ohio. Dedham is pretty cool on a warm summer night, with no one out. You could run naked in the streets and no one would have any idea. I passed the high school and heard the music and screams of the party inside. Of course, the horror geek in me thought "Sleepover Massacre". I thought it might be good to go take a piss on the school. I wasn't drunk enough, though, so I just sauntered on home.

Finally home. Sad to say it, but I'm gonna miss Dedham.

and shana says hi but can't comment.

dillingeresque @ 2005-05-31T22:41:00

2005-06-01T02:44:36Z

Class night. I got English, some other thing, and a plaque for my community service work. funny thing is, I did the bare minimum and I don't like our community. Maybe that's why they spelled my name wrong. Lamer than FDR's legs.

Tomorow I graduate from high school. Hurrah hurray!

dillingeresque @ 2005-05-30T02:01:00

2005-05-30T06:04:42Z

I killed the JD. I killed the Blacks. Three cheers for self-destruction.

American Movie is soo good. It's funny as hell but I also watch it and go "Man, I want to see Coven." I <3 me some grainy, black & white film. I find it comforting that there are people out there almost as delusional as I am.

Feering kind of ronery.

dillingeresque @ 2005-05-29T21:19:00

2005-05-30T01:26:37Z

Boston the other night was pretty decent. Ruggles station is a scary place.

Watched Amores Perros. It was ok. As much as I love crippled super models, the middle section was just boring. Style reminded me of a Miike flick but I couldn't really put my finger on why that was.

Jim's grad party was pretty decent as well. I got to watch Spicoli play Jesus in ping pong.

dillingeresque @ 2005-05-28T12:40:00

2005-05-28T16:45:42Z

Watched Sex and Lucía last night. Decent flick. Elena Anaya(Belén) was amazing. I might have to go back and watch Van Helsing again to try and spot her.

Yesterday was pretty cool. Today might suck.

dillingeresque @ 2005-05-27T00:15:00

2005-05-27T04:20:32Z

i had a good day.

i raided the foreign section. gotta class up my video watching. don't want to be in a college class where kids are like "kurosawa! bergman!" and all i got is "i've seen every friday the 13th movie."

i can't wait to graduate so i can flip off the school, go to a 50s diner, call some poor schmuck who posted a personal ad looking for some girl he met in an airport, and fall in love with steve buscemi.

dillingeresque @ 2005-05-25T18:47:00

2005-05-25T22:48:46Z

My mom found my alcohol stash. She thought it was funny.

I watched Shivers aka They Come From Within. Great movie. Going to watch The Howling later.

dillingeresque @ 2005-05-23T21:39:00

2005-05-24T01:41:49Z

dawson's creek and cigarettes.
burrito and fullet pet sesh.
television and starvation.
solo-mosh and air guitar.
shredded throat and jack daniels.
this was my day.

dillingeresque @ 2005-05-22T20:37:00

2005-05-23T01:05:11Z

August 8th I'm gone. New York. I need to perfect lighting bowls by then. I also need to learn how to pretend that I like Bright Eyes because, apparently, Bard girls <3 Connor Oberst.

They'll all <3 PxDx when I'm done with 'em.

I wrote a neat little prose piece today but blogspot pulled a lj and fucking ATE IT. RIP Noir (nwär) Lands. Wasn't that great anyways.

dillingeresque @ 2005-05-21T23:21:00

2005-05-22T03:26:17Z

Re-installed my music software. Wrote a bit. Started a blog to post short stories on. Progress on Summer projects: good.

Watched The Hunger last night. Fucking amazing.

Feeling more human recently than I have in a good long while.

dillingeresque @ 2005-05-19T17:09:00

2005-05-19T21:10:35Z

Dear Livejournal,
Guess who's having the best week ever?
Your Friend,
Tyler

p.s. It's me.

dillingeresque @ 2005-05-12T20:49:00

2005-05-13T00:54:46Z

Today I acted in a very cowardly manner in the face of someone else's sincerity and bravery. It was very humbling. I learned a valuable lesson today: the cynic is never the wisest and the joker is always the fool. Not an easy lesson to learn.

dillingeresque @ 2005-05-07T21:51:00

2005-05-08T05:07:57Z

shefellapartlikealeperdoingtheharlemshake WILL be issuing an e-EP over the summer.
Shanghai Sally EP
(tentative) track listing:
1. Shanghai Sally
2. Tossing the Hot Dog Down the Hallway
3. I'm The Game to Darsh's 50 Cent
4. The Emo-Grind Mission Statement
5. Left, Left, Left
and some covers probably.

this time i promise i'll actually do it.